Rachel Uchitel Talks Surviving Scandal, Emotional Resilience, Miss Understood Podcast

On the newest episode of the Allison Interviews podcast with host and entertainment journalist, Allison Kugel, controversial media figure and scandal survivor, Rachel Uchitel, talks surviving wearing “The Scarlet Letter” of a cheating scandal, raising her daughter with self-respect, attending the same boarding school for troubled teens as Paris Hilton, the Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes scandal, the Vanderpump Rules cheating scandal, advice she received from Ryan Seacrest and more.

Rachel’s thoughts on the Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes scandal that cost the couple their GMA3 jobs:
 
“We don’t know if it blew their lives up.  For all we know, they were having marital problems for years.  For all we know they could have been having conversations with their significant other for years.  We don’t know. The way those two handled it was probably not the best.  They probably should have filed for divorce before letting anyone catch them on camera, and letting everyone in the world speculate about the fact that they were cheating. The fact that everyone loved Andrew Shue from, Melrose Place, it’s like, “How can you cheat on that hot guy?” And it made him the victim.  But again, we have no idea.  They may have had a terrible marriage and may not have slept together for five years and he wanted out just as much as she did.  Who the hell knows.  For people to get so invested in what happened to them is wrong.”
 
“I think it was difficult for the company they worked for, for them to be the news when they are supposed to be reporting the news, and how they handled it. Continuing to get photographed hugging and kissing each other was probably not the best idea. If I was their boss, I probably would have reacted the same way.  [ABC] is owned by Disney.  They cannot represent themselves that way. But I am shocked they haven’t gotten a [television] job somewhere else.”

​Rachel’s take on the recent Vanderpump Rules Cheating Scandal:
 
“With these cheating scandals it’s the book, “The Scarlet Letter” all over again. We just saw it with that stupid Vanderpump scandal.  People were writing about it in the New York Times. It was the biggest cheating scandal possible.  A couple who met, because, by the way, they cheated on their significant others and got together for nine years on the show, and then the new cast member that came on was sleeping with the boyfriend.  Everyone found out.  Everyone flipped out.  They blamed the woman.  They hated her. The girl who was the mistress, the way they allowed her to  be treated was terrible.  The fact that she didn’t jump off a bridge, to me, I thought was insane.  I thought this girl was going to kill herself, because of the way the public was responding to her sleeping with this guy was so terrible. 
 
“At [the show’s] reunion, the way the cast members spoke to her, saying, ‘Shut the fuck up.  You’re disgusting.  You deserve to die…’  the way they were speaking to her was so terrible.  With the guy, they were just like, ‘Whatever, you’re a dirtbag.’ He was then paid even more money to come back onto the show, as was the girl who got cheated on, and the girl who was branded with the scarlet letter did not come back on the show, so she has remained in this mistress role, which to me is terrible.  Meanwhile, the girl that got cheated on got every opportunity, and got to go on Dancing with The Stars. Endless opportunities came her way because she was the victim.  It is very bazaar that cheating has become these defined roles.  You have the victim, the villain, and the guy kind of goes in between.”
 
On attending CIDU, the same troubled teen boarding school as Paris Hilton:
 
“Paris [Hilton] went to my school for a couple of weeks, and was then sent to the sister school for a few weeks.  I graduated from that school. The original school was called CEDU. I went there for three years and went through the entire program. Paris had a documentary about it and was able to talk about her experience there.  I have not really talked about it, but I was there for three years.  My mom sent me there when I was 12 ½, almost 13.  My father died while I was there.  When I got out, I never went back home. So, yes, I had a pretty terrible experience being there. It will be in my memoir.”
 
On advice Rachel received from Ryan Seacrest:
 
“Another piece of good advice I have gotten in the past was from Ryan Seacrest. I was really upset because I was in the paper with him about something a long time ago, and he said, ‘Listen, worry when people stop putting you in the paper and people stop thinking you are relevant, and people stop caring one way or another. They hate you, they love you.  As long as they care to talk, you’re okay.’  I thought that was good advice, especially because for so many years when I was in the paper and no one had anything nice to say about me, I tried to remember that advice thinking, ‘Well, at least I have the opportunity to clear things up at some point,’ because people still cared to know what was up. People were still talking about me.”
 
 
What happened was, Ryan and I were in St. Tropez together, and there was video of us together and people were asking, ‘Who is this girl?’  This was before I was ever in the [news] like that.  I wasn’t dating him or anything like that. It was just a fun photo, and people took it out of context. But for me, as someone who had never been talked about like that before, and people were criticizing what I looked like, and by the way, I was 27 or 28 and I looked really good (laugh).  The fact that they criticized me and put me down really hurt. It was awful for me, and [Ryan] just said, ‘Listen, even I have to remind myself to not get swept up in what people are saying. Just be okay with the fact that people are talking about you at all.’”
 
On the advice Rachel received from Dr. Drew Pinsky:
 
“Dr. Drew Pinsky once told me, ‘Rachel,  you don’t suffer fools gladly. You have to remember to be patient and not get upset because you feel that someone is reacting to you, based on your experience. If someone isn’t reacting the way you would react you get upset, thinking ‘they don’t like me. They are not paying attention to me. They are being mean to me. They are trying to hurt me.  You have to remember that you are basing your thought process off how you would react and your background and experience.’ For example, like with my ex-husband, for so long I thought, ‘This guy is intentionally being a dick.’  But for the most part, they are not.  These people are reacting based on their life and their fears and intentions.” 
 
“Dr. Drew said, ‘Listen, 80% of people are not that smart or have mental health issues.  There are very few people that are in a healthy place in their life to be able to have a healthy dialogue, and to be able to listen and be heard. So don’t get upset about someone else’s reaction.  Just worry about yourself and worry about what you are expressing. Don’t feed off of how people are responding to you.’ I thought that was pretty good advice.” 
 
On wanting to correct misconceptions about her in the media:
 
“Of course.  That’s why I have my podcast. I stopped feeling the need to call Page Six and say, ‘Wait a minute. I need to respond to something you wrote about me,’  or to call Harvey Levin from TMZ and say, ‘That’s not true.’ I did that for a long time.  I thought, ‘How could you write stuff like that?’  I don’t feel that way anymore.  I’m 49 years old.  I’m very secure in my own skin, in my own friends. The people that know me and spend time with me do not question anything that comes out in the paper. They will ask me directly.”

On what she was told by a psychic medium during a past life reading:
 
“I was told that I’m trying to conquer this sort of renaissance thing of how I’m constantly being burned at the stake a little bit, and that I’m making interesting choices; that in each life they are very powerful public things that rightfully or wrongfully, I’m in a position of needing to crawl my way out of something and it keeps getting repeated.  I think their intention of telling me that was to not see it as, I’ve had such a tough life, but until I learn the lessons… I’ve gotten myself out of it every time.  So why would I live in any shame or regret? The message was more, ‘You have to realize you are in a position where you are someone people will learn from, right or wrong, and you need to take a stand on not wallowing in that shame.’”
 
On using her past infamy to build trust with her podcast guests:
 
“If I feel like I need to use my history to persuade someone to be on my show and say, ‘Listen, I want you to come on to talk about what it is like, because I get it,’  I have no problem saying that. But for the most part, I’m again, not just going after people that have gone through a scandal.  I’m going for anyone that is being misunderstood and wants to clear up their position. Most of the time, people don’t need to know what my history is, because my podcast speaks for itself.  I think where in the past my name has really led for me, both in a good way and in a bad way, now it’s the podcast that is leading for me where people want to be on it to tell their story.”
 
About Journalist and Podcast Host Allison Kugel
Allison Kugel is a veteran entertainment journalist and host of the Allison Interviews podcast. Listen and embed the entire audio interview with Rachel Uchitel on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Follow Allison Kugel on Instagram @theallisonkugel and at AllisonInterviews.com